Bereavement Support For People Who Have Lost Their Pet Animal
It is natural to miss a loved one and need to psychologically and emotionally “regroup” as each person experiences their own journey through loss and, perhaps, an ultimate realization that there lives will be forever altered. Pet Loss Canada is a non-profit organization that has been established to assist all those who are experiencing the impending loss or are grieving the death of an animal, including all related issues that arise as consequences.
What Others Are Saying About Pet Loss Canada
- “Anyone who has suffered a loss should not miss this!”
- “We are better for the experience”
- “A safe place to learn about and process our loss.”
- “We were so thankful to have been a part of these sessions.”
- “We never would have come to terms with our grief as quickly as we did”
- a full list of testimonials
The Power of Counselling
Counselling for those who have or are experiencing the great loss of a beloved pet is incredibly rewarding and a true honour. Those who walk the road of grief / mourning are generally able, with family and friend support, to reach a successful conclusion believing that the pain and suffering will eventually subside but will never entirely disappear. However, there are many others who, for various reasons, become “stuck” at some point in their grief processes and need the assistance of a trained, empathetic counsellor to be able to continue their journey.
The first requirement in every loss is to realize that our beloved pet has not “passed on”, “gone to sleep” or “has gone away” but, in fact, is dead. This may sound harsh but there needs to be a realization that the pet will never physically return to us. Hopefully this realitywill be replaced by the wonderful thoughts and memories of the pleasant moments our pet gave to us while being a part of the family.
Pain, sorrow and especially anger can be extremely debilitating. A woman who, not being able to have children, saw her three dogs as her “children”. They all died within a relatively short period of time causing even more extreme pain and rage. The first night of a group course this person sat all night, physically removed from the other members of the group, believing she was alone, 
and, while continuously looking at the pictures of her pets, she cried and wailed uncontrollably. She expressed considerable anger at the veterinarians who had cared for her dogs for 15 years but, in the end, could not prevent death. As the course continued through weeks 2 and 3 she slowly began to realize that others in the group were also experiencing pain and suffering of their own. Her crying slowly subsided and by week three after a discussion with her and her family she was able to express some happiness and much less annoyance. Now, several months later, she sends me pictures of her new animals and also occasional jokes: her anger has somewhat gone and she has been able to develop a bond with a new pet friend.
Can anyone ask for more? To witness the “before” and “after” results of counselling are awe inspiring for all. Each individual story carries with it the pain and experiences of those involved. This story represents the reason for counselling in pet loss and the ultimate reward of eventually moving forward with life: recognizing that the hole in our hearts that was created by the loss will not go away, but that we will be able to accept its presence and allow ourselves to develop a new direction for our lives where other pet friends are welcome and appreciated.
About the Header Image “The Path”
The Path
We invite you to explore the picture for all the symbolism that you might find and reflect upon the significance.
The Path when I look at the picture I see a long road ahead and feel the lonliness and yet it seems quiet and peaceful. I lossed my little dog sassy on Dec. 21 2o1o by a car hitting her. She got out of the house when I went to warm up my car, she died in my arms looking at me I can’t stop crying I feel quilt and alot of what ifs. I am mad and wonder what I did so bad in my life that this happened. You see my mother past away a year after she gave me sassy and her brother oso she gave them to me out of love and because I was so sad that my daughter decided to move out on her own. Sassy was only 4 years old she was suppose to be with me untill her natural life was up. I kept hoping that the vet we took her to would call me and say she was wrong and sassy was alive, that never happened, my heart is broken.
Thank you for sharing your story and explaining your emotions over the loss of dear Sassy. These “feelings” are normal, especially considering the circumstances of the death. Hopefully your comments will resonate with others who may need and / or want to share their stories as well.
The “journey” of grief requires patience: there is NO time limit. You may seek ways to fill the void left by your beloved Sassy, but that “hole” will be in your heart continuously and you will forever remember your friend. In time, you may hopefully learn to live with it and move forward in a renewed life filled with memories of wonderful experiences you and your companion shared. Then your tears will become smiles.
Brien T.
On the bright left, along the inside of the fence, I see all the animals that I have sadly had to put down, here, and buried on the farm. I see them all happy, healthy, full of life and painfree and on the right side of the road, inside the fence I see my new animals slowly walking together. I see myself with the new animals looking over at the others that have died.
I am walking in the cold shade with my new animals but the ones that have died have the warmth and light of the sunshine.
I have had the pleasure of having many pet friends over the years. Sometimes these friends were more faithful than the human friends around me. I know that some people minimize the importance of these relationships but I always remember the story of the garden of Eden. Whether you believe it as literal truth or just as a spiritual truth – the fact that both humans and animals lived peacefully together suggests to me that the Bible recognizes the underlying importance of our connections to these little creatures. In my minds eye, it’s easy for me to imagine Eve romping around with an assortment of animals. So whenever I think of my friendships with my non-human friends, I believe I am re-enacting a small part of “paradise.”
Some people have asked me why I would want to get another pet when i grieved so much for the one I lost. It’s because there would have been no grief without exquisite joy.
So I life my virtual cup in a virtual toast for all of the little ones that have passed on.
I appreciate your insight and commentary on the picture. You have given all visitors many issues to consider.
Brien T
I find all of the stories very heartfelt and touching. I am dealing with the illness of my beloved dog Mask. I don’t know how to let go. I know that he will pass eventually and have gone to great lenghts to keep him alive with quality of life. I am the only person how can care for him now due to his habits and medication neeeds which has had a major impact on my personal life. I love my dog so much. I won’t know what to do when he passes. I will require some help professionally and am glad that there are services available. I would like to know more about your services. I live in the Toronto area, Northern Etobicoke.
Hello Colleen, It is very difficult to watch a beloved friend transition and even more difficult when there is little that you can do medically. HOWEVER, continued love and support of Mask will help you both: Mask to know for the remainder of his life that he IS loved and cared for, and you for knowing that you have been a loving and loyal friend and caregiver. b
I have tried many different ways to protect my dog from injury as he has a problem walking and balancing himself. In the night I was always concerned about his whereabouts and if he was OK. Previously before this problem he slept on my bed. One night due to confussion he walked off the side of my bed. Thank goodness he was not injured. In order to keep him close to me at eye level, I set up a crib beside my bed. Now I can see him and he can see me. He feels safe and secure there and I can finally sleep knowing he is OK.
As I said to you last week, your idea of the crib is very innovative. Hopefully others can use your example of how they can assist their animals.
I hope you will give “Mask” a couple of pats for me with a reminder that I am here if you need my assistance. b
Thank you so much for your supportive words. It really helps to know that there is someone I can talk to. I just found out that Mask is having a problem with his liver. Hopefully due to medication. I will find out more info next week. I will require help dealing with what may come up in the near future. I am already feeling sad and guilty about what type of decision I will have to make. One of my friends said you should get another dog now so you will have one when Mask goes. I know she meant well but it hurt my feelings. I didn’t even know how to respond to what she said. Thanks, Colleen
I really appreciate your kind words. I believe that, knowing what is happening based upon this information and previous telephone conversations, you are in the experience of what is categorized as “anticipatory grief”. That may not be of much comfort but I would strongly suggest that, although I cannot fully understand YOUR experiences since each person grieves in a different manner, continue loving and being there for your dear friend and companion. b
I lost Shadow on june 30, 2011 due to a gran mal seizure. The vet tried everything to bring her back but she went into another severe one and wasnt able to come out of it and he had to put her down to end her pain. I will never forget the look in her eyes as she looked into mine just before the second seizure I so thought she was going to be ok. I am lost alone and have severe pangs of deep loss and loneliness. We were together for 9 years just me and Shadow. W e were never apart for even a day as i needed her as much as she needed me and i am so alone now without her. She was my life she was my everything. I could have full conversations with her and she would come and push her head against my chest just to give me a hug. I miss that. i keep looking for her then i realize she is gone and will never be by my side again. I want her back but i know that is impossible but i dont know where to turn or how to handle this. I haven slept i have eaten very little and feel like this pain in my heart will never go away. I miss her by my side or checking on me when she doesnt see me in the same room. I miss her having dinner with me or cuddling with me in bed. This is so heartwrenching and heartbreaking to me.
My heart goes out to you Jackie as that is exactly how I feel. I want my Zoe back so much and am just realizing that she is not coming home to me. Just like your Shadow Zoe was apart of me in every way. I did nothing without her and I too look for her in everything I do. Bless you Jackie. I hope our pain eases.
I lost my dear beloved blacklab Shadow to a sudden granmal seizure. The vet tried everything he could to bring her around without having another one but as she came out of sedation she looked at me longingly for about two minutes then went into another severe seizure. i begged him to end her pain as i couldnt take her screams of pain. She died in my arms on june 10 at 1:50 pm. i will never forget that moment as she lay in my arms and her body went still and her spirit went to heaven. She was my constant companion 24/7 for the last 9 years with no health problems at all. She was a cuddler and i loved her so deeply and am heartbroken with her loss. I feel empty and lost and alone now without her by my side to nudge me to pet her or to lay her head on my chest and hug me back. She was my better half my sidekick my second skin. I love u Shadow with all my heart and will never ever forget the love we shared.
Love your forever mommy
My heart goes out to you. I too lost my little Shadow. We had her for over 19 years and lost her Oct. 7,2011. I still cry for her, I miss her like crazy…we did everything together and some days I can hardly stand the pain! She was always there for me…how I want her back!
I just read your email about your beloved pet and I am going through the same grief, I had Spike for 11 years and am suffering so much grief, that I find it unbearable at times. it has been almost 4 months and the pain has not subsided, I have some that I can talk to about it but am mostly on my own with my grief. Sometimes it just helps to know that others understand what you are going through
I truly empathize and sympathize with the loss of your beloved friend and companion Shadow. But I would like you to consider something that is very significant: in the hours and minutes leading up to her death you were with her, understanding her troubles and, even in her eyes, you were able to share Shadow’s wish to end the pain and suffering. Those moments are priceless and enduring forever.
It is normal that you would feel alone and sad for the pet you loved so dearly but, in the truist sense, perhaps you can accept that she still lives on in you and you in her. Her “divine spark” (Alan Wolfelt) has left the physical body, but it remains in your thoughts, memories and, eventually, your joyous thoughts of all the wonderful experiences you shared together. b
I lost my baby Zoe May 28 2011. She was only 8 and we were to grow old together. I miss her so much. My heart hurts and I can’t quit crying. She went every where with me and every where I look she should be there. She was hit by a truck and I keep reliving the noises and seeing her laying there after. She went instantly they tell me and I really hope that is true. But all I really want is my little girl back. Oh god when will I quit hurting. I feel broken.
My boyfriend & I just lost our fur baby this past Sunday- we witnessed the SUV hitting our beloved Romeo. I too have been having nightmares, intense moments of grief, & expecting to see him everywhere. I deal with death a lot in my field of employment but it is always more difficult when it is your own beloved. I want you to know that you are not alone & it is alright to grieve. Talking helps…..the support of friends, family, other dog owners who have lost their babies…..I hope in time the hurt/hole will lessen but I understand that it will always be there bc your puppy was a part of your heart.
Hello Murielle and thank you for your comments. You will find a newspost that I wrote this morning entitle “You Hold the Key”. You might find it both interesting and supportive of what you say here. If YOU would like to talk you can contact me. Brien
Hello Charlene. I truly empathize with the loss of your dear Zoe. Your pain and suffering inform me that you truly loved and cared for your beloved “baby”. Your words, memories and present emotional circumstances are very real. I would encourage you to be open and accepting of your emotions because they are part of who you are NOW. Crying is a way that the body allows each person to relieve excessive stress and anxiety. Sadly, you will NEVER be able to rid yourself of the hole that seems to have completely torn your heart but, in time, you may find that you can move forward with your life while finding a place where Zoe will be forever remembered and loved. Please keep connected with others in your life and with Pet Loss Canada. Friends, relatives and even organizations like ours can and will hopefully listen to you and validate your experiences as real and acceptable. b
My dog Blaze was diagnosed today (July 18th, 2011) with Kidney Disease. My vets didn’t really say an estimate that she will be leaving me, but I kind of got the sensation they were trying to tell me it may be mere months. I think I’ll be lucky to see her around Christmas 2011 before her quality of life becomes unbearable.
Blaze is a really important part of my life, as I credit her to me having not committing suicide a number of years back while I was bullied in school. I would come home, upset and depressed, and despite my sadness I never really could help but be happy when I saw her. I’d get down to her level and she’d push her head into my chest like she was hugging me. I’d then scratch the inside of her ears, which is something she still loves to have done.
When she lets me know it’s time for her to go, and when she does, I know I’m going to be crushed and heartbroken. Everyone who deserves an animal pet does feel that way. How I’ll see fit to remember her is something I don’t know. But her loss won’t prompt me into renewed thoughts of suicide, I won’t allow it. Because it would be an insult to her efforts, and her memory, which is something I won’t let occur.
As for the site’s banner…I feel that it’s from the pet’s point of view. The point in which Owner and Pet part ways. The pet does see where they are destined to belong, but as a final act of love, stands guard to help the Owner cope, until the Owner finally turns around the bend and is out of sight. Their self-imposed mission complete, the pet can finally enjoy their reward of never-ending faithful compassion and loyalty, and frolic in the warm, soothing sunlight of Heaven for eternity.
Hi Corey. We lost our dog to kidney disease about 3 months ago. She was my baby and I miss her so much. My heart is breaking. I loved her with my whole heart! Let me know how it is going with you.
Hi Korey, This is a wonderful testimonial to the mutual love betweeen animals and humans, and also to the power of how they can teach us things about ourselves that, perhaps, we did not realize. There are many ways to memorialize an animal, especially a house pet. But I truly believe that the greatest memorial that we give them is the constant reminder, within our own hearts, that they were with us, shared love with us, and left us better people than we were before they appeared. b
Hi again Korey. I wanted to make a separate comment on our “banner”. Tim Underwood, a member of our Board and our webmaster, found this picture and added it. Every so often I look at it again and I see something different from what I saw the last time. This banner is like so many pictures within a picture with each area allowing for many diverse interpretations of peace, calm, strength, enlightenment and solace. Your interpretation speaks to your heart and thank you for your thoughts. b
I feel like my interpretation of The Path banner is self-explanatory, but of course, everyone’s view of self-explanation is different. I have always loved trees, the meadow to the left with animals perhaps grazing makes me think of peace and tranquility and life carrying as usual. The animals are safe in the confines of their meadow without a care in the world. It looks like darkness is falling rather than the early morning, with the last bit of sun lighting the path, the trees standing sturdy, tall and strong giving the dirt road a protective border. The lone person walking in the distance makes me thinks it’s the end of the day, on their way home for rest and relaxation. The path ahead will lead him to home, safety and refuge. The person seems deep in thought, maybe thinking about the day’s events. I think the path is leading the person into the ritual of evening and so the day will begin again and the tomorrow will result with walking down the path amongst the beautiful trees and their protective bows, perhaps somehow privy to the person’s mood and thoughts, and the person will return again with new things to share and talk about when he returns home.
It seems surreal but this past Sunday Feburary 26,2012 our little Romeo was hit by an SUV. He escaped through my legs as I was trying to go out to go to the gym—he hated it when I left. I tried to coax him back & so did my boyfriend. We were so close to getting him to come to us so we could bring him home safely—as we turned to have him follow (which he was) …we stopped to check to see he was following. He sat down in front of the road & suddenly pranced across the road. He was hit on the head by the SUV & was hemoraging internally. We picked him up & brought him home to have him die wih both our hands on him minutes later. Every night I have had nightmares of him dying. I have lost an aunt to suicide 2 years prior & know hat this journey of loss & grief will take some time to go through. It hurts thinking back on : why? I miss him so much….I expect to see him here when I wake up. I miss his loving personality- his patience- his happy demeanor…..I miss everything about him. There are times where I am alright & then suddenly a huge grief/sadness hits me. I just want those who have lost their beloved pet/fur baby that you are not alone. I want to take this time to reflect on the short but beautiful life of our Romeo. May you be happy- loved- provided with many treats up in doggy heaven.
Hi Murielle. I sent you an initial comment but would reinforce it by inviting you to contact me so that we can talk. Your current symptomology is rather normal including loss of sleep and nightmares. Often the death of an animal (or a human) will bring back previously unconscious memories that we have repressed. Such is the case in remembering your aunt. You are always welcome to speak with me- I am now using Skype and it is showing signs of being an excellent counselling tool. brien
Hi. I really need some help dealing with my decision to put my cat companion of 15 years down last week. I could not afford the surgery she needed to fix a bladder problem and I’m am suffering terrible guilt as well as being heartbroken without her here with me. Can somebody give me some words of advice?
I would ask you to give me a call on the Pet Loss number- 519- 496-5290 or send me a message through the e-mail address thursthouse@rogers.com and I will contact you. I am more than willing to speak with you personally………………..brien
On 19 march 2012 at 10am, our hearts were
broken and our grief was and still is so
unbearable When we had to put our beloved
pet down. We were unprepared for it half hoping
she would come home with us from the vet. She
is a beautiful Bassett hound of 14 years 7 months.
I always thought we would have a few more
wonderful summers together. She left behind a
“brother” Bassett who looked up to her and was
Her lifelong companion of almost 12 years. He
Still searches the house for her and it pains us
To see that, we are showering him with a lot of
Love and attention but we are also struggling with
Our own grief and sense of emptiness. These 2 days
Past, I have experienced a gamut of rare overwhelming
Emotions from extreme sadness, anger, guilt, regret,
Lost and disinterested in anything. I keep seeing her
Everywhere and remembering every place we’ve been.
People keep telling me to remember the good times
But it is the good times that bring back heart wrenching
Memories and emotions. She will always be my
Precious and I will never forget her. This experience
And journey continues for me and my wife, my heart
Is heavy with sadness today as I wish to have one
More chance to hug her and kiss her and tell her again,
Like the million times before that we/I love her and
Miss her so much……
The causes of missing, tears and sorrow are found in the facts that you cared and loved dearly. The pain of losing a wonderful friend IS painful, but, in the end, you will be left with wonderful and lovely memories that will leave you with never-ending thoughts of “Precious” and how much was contributed to your life and love experiences. May you find peace in this thought. Brien
We lost our dear Spanky on March 8th. Not by choice and we knew his time was limited, but he was seriously ill at the end, he was tired and he was put to sleep. He went peacefully. Polite in death as he was in life. He was our beautiful little furry, faithful child and we miss him tremendously. Spanky was 14, a border collie (we think mixed with sheltie) had chronic health problems for years, and did well with meds until March 7th. He was a gorgeous little guy, smart and beloved by all. Today we picked up his ashes, footprints and hair samples. This was hard but it’s good that he’s “home”. Yes, he’s in heaven with all of our pets, our family members, our friends and he no longer suffers. I personally have suffered much loss throughout my life but never have I cried openly until now. My husband is such a great man and this pains him as his “little buddy” is no more. For now, we have a shrine on our coffee table with flowers, cards, a candle, Spanky’s ashes, footprints and hair. We’ve asked our friends to make donations towards an animal rescue or humane society. We’ve always supported our local and provinical humane societies and an animal rescue society. One of them will receive some of his items and new toys and bowls to help some living dogs. Spanky was special. He will never be replaced. He is not suffering now and he will forever be loved. Love is never regretted, even if there is loss. He loved us unconditionally as many of you know with your pets. I promised him we’d forever help animals. The cremation service had a lovely saying on their card “until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.-anatole france” Please take care of yourselves and even though they can never be replaced, perhaps think of helping another animal that is living in one small way.
I have also asked Robyn Aitchison-Peterson to reply to this as well. A truly lovely commentary on the life of your beloved Spanky”. I would also add that Spanky had very special “human parents” as well. I would suggest that you are welcome to place this article, or one of similar tone, on the “In Memoriam” section of the PLC website as well. You are memorializing Spanky in wonderful ways. Please consider honouring him in the memorial page as well. Brien
On April 21st, 2012, my wife and I lost our beloved friend Max. He was a miniature schnauzer and had been a part of our family for 14 years. Sometime in January, unbeknownst to us, he had suffered a stroke. We had noticed that he wasn’t acting normally but we thought it was just his age. As time went on, things were getting worse for him so we decided to take him to the vet to see if there was anything that he could do. Unfortunately, there wasn’t. We knew right then that we had to make one of the hardest decisions that we would ever make. The vet said that his quality of life was gone and that he would only suffer more if we let him live. With tears in our eyes and with the heaviest of hearts, we gave the vet the OK. After Max got the injection, it was only a matter of minutes before he was gone. The vet gave us some time with him. My wife and I held his still and lifeless body until the warmth started to fade. I gently laid his head on the exam table and my wife and I held each other and cried. We had him cremated and now his final resting place is in a beautiful little box along with his favorite toy and his collar. I would just like to say to everyone who has a pet. Love them unconditionally, bring joy to their life, because, isn’t that what they do for us? I now have this big gapping hole in my heart that will never be filled. My wife and I had always talked about getting another pet after Max. I am not sure now if that is something that I would ever do. There is some awful big paws to fill. A day will never go by that I don’t think of him and all the wonderful joy he brought to my wife and I. Rest in peace Max, I love and miss you.
David and Doona C